


Kitchen Knives Conspire

by AllMyStitchesItch



Category: Slipknot (Band)
Genre: Age Difference, Anal Sex, Blood and Gore, Body Horror, Car Sex, Church Sex, Come Eating, Corpses, Daddy Kink, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Depressing, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, Guilt, Hand Jobs, M/M, Manipulation, Murder, Narcissism, One-Sided Relationship, Past Underage, Power Dynamics, Power Imbalance, Road Trips, Unhealthy Relationships, pls heed the tags
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-12-22
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:06:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25027408
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllMyStitchesItch/pseuds/AllMyStitchesItch
Summary: "I understand the bleeding but don't know why"
Relationships: Shawn Crahan/Sid Wilson
Comments: 10
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr: allmystitchesitchao3]

Shawn was thrusting hard, and the slap of skin on skin filled the large room. If it was hurting Sid, he didn’t show it. He took it silently and obediently, like he always did.

Shawn felt ice cold inside of him, no empathy, no soul. Just animalistic indulgence. He doesn’t care if Sid is comfortable or not. It’s all about his own satisfaction.

That’s not to say he doesn’t like Sid. He does. It’s just a very narcissistic kind of like. He only likes Sid for his own intents and purposes. Nothing is ever about Sid’s wants or needs.

Sid looks around the nave, completely disinterested in what Shawn is doing to him. The high, stained glass windows in the dark look so unlike they do in daylight, no beauty or warmth radiating from them. They just look dreadful and cold. 

The wood that the pews are made of are splitting and moldy, and the whole room smells damp and dirty.

This whole thing was Shawn’s idea. The place. The victim. Everything. It was always Shawn’s idea. 

He had chosen the young redhead out of every person at that bar for reasons unknown to Sid. “He was just the one that felt right,” Shawn had explained to him.

From the chin up, minus the deathly paleness, he looked like he was only sleeping on the floor next to them, but when you moved a couple of inches down, there was a large gash cut into his throat, courtesy of Shawn. Lower, it only got worse. There were several smaller cuts on his arms and torso, but the worst was the deep puncture in his abdomen where Shawn had pulled his intestines out while he was still alive. His shrieks had filled the nave and Sid had cringed and covered his ears, much to Shawn’s disappointment. He had cut his throat some time after that. Sid didn’t really remember how long it was. It had felt like the torture went on for an eternity.

Sid pulled himself out of his thoughts and focussed himself back on Shawn. He seemed so happy. Fucking delighted to be fucking him, despite the fact that Sid wasn’t even hard or really being responsive to what he was doing at all. He doubted Shawn noticed or cared, simply keeping his face buried in Sid’s neck and delivering harsh bites to it every now and then, accompanied by saying something vulgar. Sid felt nothing, except for sick to his stomach. 

Shawn stilled inside him and Sid worried he was angry that he was being so unreceptive.

“What’s wrong?” he asked quickly.

“I want him to watch,” Shawn answered, reaching one hand over to pull up the dead man’s eyelids. 

His eyes weren’t clouded yet, he was still too fresh for that. Sid jumped a little at just how alive he still looked. He’d only been dead about ten minutes, maybe fifteen.

When Shawn pulled his hand away, the man’s eyelids closed again. Shawn growled a little at this, pulling himself out of Sid and appearing to begin a search for something on the church floor. Sid didn’t know what.

By the broken window, he grabbed two small pieces of glass and returned to the corpse, opening his eyelids again.

The queasiness returned and Sid had to look away as Shawn jammed the pieces of glass into the man’s raised eyelids to hold them in place. When he looked back, blood was dripping down the man’s face and Sid nearly threw up just at the sight of it.

“Getting squeamish on me?” Shawn teased, but there wasn’t an ounce of humor in the gesture.

Sid closed his eyes and inhaled deeply, trying to forget what he had just seen, though it was no use, he was pretty sure that image would be stamped on his brain forever.

Then Shawn started fucking him again and that only made it worse. He nearly vomited at the initial penetration, but managed to keep it down, trying to think of anything other than what was happening. 

Shawn came. Sid didn’t. Shawn didn’t care.

Sid wished that they could go back to the way things were when they had first met. Shawn was selfless and affectionate and everything he had ever wanted. He changed so suddenly after a short amount of time had passed, and became cold and selfish, but Sid couldn’t bring himself to leave him because he still loved that first side Shawn had shown of himself and hoped desperately that he would have to revert back to it eventually.

It had been almost two years of holding out for that to happen now, and Sid never could have imagined it would escalate to this level of horror. He never wanted this. He never wanted to hurt anyone. This was all Shawn’s doing and he didn’t know how to get out of it.

He thought that maybe he was better off dead with the man on the floor next to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr: allmystitchesitchao3]

Sid didn’t die, however. He just felt like he did.

Shawn dragged him along, stumbling, back to the car, and crammed him into the passenger seat.

They got back on the road and resumed their journey, heading south-west.

Sid was deathly silent, gazing out the window, gloomy trees zooming by too fast for him to count them in the darkness. Shawn didn’t know what a speed limit was when it came to the back roads.

Shawn was smoking, spitting out the window every few minutes and fucking with the radio, complaining there was nothing good on it.

Sid felt like he was decaying more and more the further they drove. They’d crossed the state line into Missouri an hour or so ago. He was relishing in the fact that in the last 20 minutes, Shawn had quieted down considerably. The sky was starting to lighten on the horizon signaling the sun would be rising soon. Sid jumped a little at the clicking sound the car lighter made when Shawn pressed it carelessly with two thick fingers, seemingly oblivious to Sid’s lack of vivacity right now.

“Should find a motel to crash at, then hit the road at dark,” Shawn said casually, lighting another cigarette and rolling the window down to blow smoke out of it. 

Sid shivered a little. He heard him say this like he was very far away but didn’t have anything to say in response. He stayed silent and stoic, bringing his arms up over his chest and clutching his shoulders in his hands in an attempt at self-comfort. Shawn was clearly not concerned, illustrated further by his next comment.

“Why are you in such a pissy mood?” he asked passively.

Sid didn’t know what to say. He longed to be comforted, but he much preferred being completely ignored over Shawn vainly inquiring as to why he wasn’t in high spirits.

Sid just shrugged and continued his silence. His partner didn’t like it when he did that, but he also didn’t want to do anything to make it better. He just wanted Sid to be bubbly, with a little venom in him, but still deeply submissive. Content and troublesome, but still respectful of the power dynamic at play.

Shawn wildly slammed on the brakes and brought the car to a halt, the sound of the tires skidding on the dirt road. Sid braced himself with one hand on the dashboard, heart leaping into his throat as dust kicked up all around the car.

The jarring movement was enough to make him finally let tears fall from his eyes, and he sniffled, rather pathetically in Shawn’s opinion, knuckles white from clutching his own shoulders.

Shawn let out a short sigh before somewhat forcibly pulling Sid from the passenger seat and sitting him in his lap, grabbing his jaw from below, not squeezing enough to be uncomfortable, but firm and compelling Sid to look at him.

Neither of them said anything, Shawn just looked intensely at him. Sid was a little shaken up, by what he had seen inside the church, by Shawn’s sudden manhandling of him like he was a toy, and by the idea that he had upset his partner.

Shawn was stone-faced, not breaking eye contact, almost daring Sid to look away from him, when his hand started to move over Sid’s belt buckle and work it open none too gently.

“It’ll make you feel better,” Shawn said, knowing Sid was about to squeak out a protest. 

He slips his hand under Sid’s waistband and pulls his soft cock out gently, trying to spark some sort of arousal in him. Sid lets out a feeble and nearly inaudible whine, almost protesting, but not quite. Shawn doesn’t acknowledge it.

“C’mon baby, get hard for me,” Shawn tries to prompt further.

Sid closed his eyes and buried his face in the crook of Shawn’s neck, trying to focus on his touch and forget everything else, letting out a soft sigh as he relaxed a little bit against Shawn and his body started responding.

“That’s it, baby boy,” Shawn praised, squeezing Sid’s hardening cock in his palm a little bit.

And Sid… did start feeling a little better. 

At least it was attention. It was a distraction. It was Shawn acknowledging his presence and doing something selfless.

Or seemingly selfless.

At least it was anything but the feeling of guilt and fear and impending doom.

He hugged his arms around Shawn’s neck tightly, face still buried in his neck, inhaling his scent of cigarettes and mild sweat mixed with his shitty cologne. It was familiar. It was his rock. It was what he had come to associate with comfort and protection since Shawn had approached him for the first time just over a year ago, not knowing it would all end up like this.

The slide was dry and a little unpleasant until Shawn paused to loudly spit into his palm and wrap it around Sid’s cock again, making it far more enjoyable, and Sid was gone, absolutely obsessed with him all over again.

The car was silent, just the sound of Sid’s breathing growing more and more ragged and Shawn cooing the occasional “good boy” in his ear.

Sid let out a louder moan, finally finding some semblance of his voice again when Shawn squeezed him firmly and gave him a command.

“Say you love daddy,” Shawn said lowly.

Sid apparently didn’t answer fast enough, because Shawn repeated, “Say it.”

“I love… Daddy,” Sid trembled a little, speaking the words just above a whisper.

Shawn smiled smugly at this, stroking Sid faster until he finally spilled over Shawn’s sizeable hand, mewling a little pathetically when Shawn continued to stroke him for too long afterward.

Eventually, he tucked Sid back into his pants and casually licked the come off of his hand. Sid scrunched his nose up a little at this. It’s not like he hadn’t done it before, but there was something… Off about it this time, he didn’t know what.

Without saying a word, Shawn handled Sid back into the passenger seat of the car, ran a hand through his gray hair, and turned the key in the ignition, continuing their journey like nothing happened.

Back to the way it was before.

Silence.

Crushing silence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [tumblr: allmystitchesitchao3]

Sid sneaks out of the motel room around noon, Shawn’s snores reassuring him that his absence would go unnoticed. 

His heart is racing and the walk across the pavement to the dusty phone booth feels like it takes an eternity.

It’s dirty and smells like BO as the shitty plastic door closes behind him and seals him into the small space. He slips a quarter into the payphone slot and dials Paul’s number with a shaky finger, looking anxiously over his shoulder to make sure Shawn hasn’t followed him. Sid knows he sleeps like the dead, so he shouldn’t have noticed when he quietly slipped out. 

The sun is beating down on Sid in the cramped booth and sweat is beading on the back of his neck already.

After 5 rings, Paul finally picks up and answers with a groggy, “Hello?”

Sid must have woken him up. Night shift.

“Hey man, sorry for uh… calling so early… late… whatever,” Sid said, awkwardly scratching at the back of his neck.

There was silence for a long moment on the other end of the line before Paul said “Sid??”, suddenly sounding wide awake.

“Uh, yeah, hey man,” Sid laughed a little nervously, voice cracking.

“What the fuck is going on?? You and Shawn are all over the news,” he said, frantic now.

“Yeah, it’s… A long story,” Sid sighed.

“Jesus fucking christ, that’s an understatement, are you ok? Did he hurt you??” Paul asked hurriedly.

“No, of course he didn’t hurt me,” Sid answered quietly.

“Where are you? Did he make you hide somewhere?” Paul asked, panicked tone staying consistent.

“No,” Sid answered again.

“So what the fuck happened? What’s going on??” Paul was almost yelling.

“He asked me to come with him on a road trip, so I did,” Sid furrowed his brow, speaking quietly into the receiver.

“And then you just start killing people??” Paul asked incredulously.

“I didn’t kill anybody,” Sid hissed quietly into the phone, looking around the vacant and dimly lit parking lot to confirm he was still alone.

“So you just watch him do it then??” Paul asked again.

“I didn’t call to talk about this,” Sid sighed sadly.

“Then what the fuck did you call me to talk about? To just chat like there’s not a state-wide manhunt going on for you right now??” Paul asked wildly.

“I called to talk to my best friend because I care about him so just fucking hang up then if you’re gonna be a dick,” Sid said shortly. 

Shawn had advised him not to contact anyone under the guise that no one would understand what they were doing and it was just the two of them in this together, but he couldn’t help calling Paul. He needed to talk to him again, he missed him. Badly. 

But maybe Shawn had been right.

“I haven’t fucking known you since you got with him, you became a completely different person, Sid, he’s fucking crazy,” Paul said, a little calmer now.

“He’s not crazy,” Sid said a little sadly.

“I tried to tell you this from day one, Sid. That he was bad for you, now look what you got yourself into.”

“...He loves me,” Sid said quietly.

“Sid, he doesn’t. Please come home, we can go to the cops and tell them he made you go with him-”

“NO, DON’T CALL THE FUCKING COPS,” Sid raised his voice a little, “He didn’t MAKE me do anything, I WANTED to go with him because I love him, and he loves me.”

“Sid, he’s fucking killing people, are you insane??” Paul asked again.

There was a heavy silence between the two of them before Sid spoke up again, “I have to go,” he said simply.

“Sid please come home,” Paul said, sounding desperate now.

“I have to go... I’ll call you again when I can, I dunno when that’s gonna be,” Sid said, promptly hanging up the phone without another word.

He knew Paul wouldn’t call the cops, at least not right now.

He returned to their dank motel room, where Shawn was propped up on his elbow, rubbing tiredly at one eye as Sid closed the door behind him.

“I told you not to leave,” Shawn said, voice still thick with sleep.

“Just having a smoke, I couldn’t sleep” Sid lied and shrugged casually, hands in the pockets of his pajama pants.

Shawn sighed and didn’t say anything, just pulled the covers back for Sid to climb back into bed with him and keep sleeping, holding him a little too tight for Sid’s comfort against his chest as quiet snores began to fill the room once more.


	4. Chapter 4

Sid read that it was two in the morning exactly on Shawn’s watch. He could see it from the passenger seat, the way Shawn’s hand was resting on the steering wheel. Sid vaguely remembered seeing the Arkansas state welcome sign a few hours ago. They’d driven into Fayetteville, stopped briefly, and were now back on the dark country roads.

Shawn was quiet, Sid was quiet, and there was a body in the trunk. 

Sid’s silence was timid, submissive, caused in part by the sickness in his stomach, whereas Shawn’s was concerning. Tense. Lingering in the air like a threat. If Shawn wasn’t talking, something was wrong.

And they had been driving for hours like this, each minute of silence ticking by tightening that knot of anxiety in Sid’s stomach, worrying over what could be bothering Shawn now, and if he would lash out again, maybe even at him. 

He wished he could call Paul.

He tried to distract himself, looking out the window, but there wasn’t much to occupy his mind, just big fields and the occasional tree or house in darkness. He bounced his knee a little, restlessly and quietly, one finger mindlessly running over a small tear in his jeans. 

“You’re breaking your promise,” was all Shawn said, flatly, unreadable, and it was enough to raise the hair on the back of Sid’s neck and finally make him lurch forward in his seat and heave.

He only coughed up stomach acid on account of being too nervous to eat when Shawn had offered him earlier.

“For Christ’s sake,” Shawn said, vaguely irritated, pulling a bandanna out of his pocket and passing it to Sid.

“Sorry,” Sid just sniffled a little, dabbing at one watering eye with it before wiping at his mouth and then at the vomit on his pants with shaky hands.

“ _ Sid _ ,” Shawn repeated insistently, “you  _ promised _ .”

Sid’s train of thought was too disordered to make anything of this, so he just said “What?”

He should’ve known that wasn’t going to go over well.

Shawn just rolled his eyes in annoyance and smacked his hand on the steering wheel, not a threat, just out of frustration, but Sid jumped in his seat anyway, stomach threatening to heave again.

“You promised that if I took you on this trip you were gonna behave. You told me you  _ wanted _ to come... You told me you  _ wanted _ to be with me, Sid,” Shawn asserted, carefully emphasizing Sid’s choices that had led him here.

Sid turned his head to look at his partner in the driver’s seat, not saying anything, just looking at Shawn with wide eyes, unsure of what to do, and this only frustrated him further. He raised his eyebrows at Sid and gestured silently with one hand, trying to get something out of him. 

“...I do want to be with you,” Sid said quietly, breaking eye contact and looking back down at his lap where he had started wringing his hands together anxiously.

“Could’ve fooled me, ‘cause you don’t fuckin’ act like it,” Shawn said, not giving up his stern tone despite Sid’s submissive one.

“I didn’t know it was… gonna be like this,” Sid said, softly again, afraid to look over at Shawn.

“I told you, Sid. I told you this wasn’t gonna be like anything you’d ever done before,” Shawn said.

“Yeah, but I didn’t-”

“Then you should've  _ asked _ . You should've  _ inquired _ before you got yourself in so deep,” Shawn condescended. 

“Why doesn’t it make you happy?” Shawn continued on, “Hardly anyone ever gets to feel like this. It’s a privilege. It’s humans in our purest form. We’re predators.”

Sid hoped he wouldn’t go off on another long tangent about this because he would definitely throw up again if he did. He tried to reel himself in to the best of his ability and choose his next few words carefully, rushing to calculate what Shawn would want to hear most.

“...I’m happy that… It makes you happy,” Sid finally spit out. 

“And you want to stay with me, yes?” Shawn asked, just a little softer now.

Sid just nods. 

Bad move

“ _ Words _ , Sid,” Shawn says, tone threatening to harden again.

“Yeah,” Sid just says quietly, fading into complete submission just to finish this conversation as quickly as he can.

“Good, ‘cause that’s the best thing for you,” Shawn continued, voice softening more.

Sid was quiet, afraid to say the wrong thing, and inviting him to continue. He knew there was more to this.

“If you tried to run back Iowa now and just assimilate back into society,” Shawn started up again, his voice was ripe with patronization as he continued gesturing wildly, “they’d slap the cuffs on you right away. You’d get life, Sid… and I don’t wanna see you behind bars forever,” Shawn said, tone changing to almost concerned now, “and it’s not just the cops either. Your friends you left back there. Your  _ parents _ . Your pastor. All of them would turn you in without a second thought because they don't understand. They haven't made the choice.”

Shawn drifted slightly into the opposite lane as he tried to locate his pack of cigarettes.

“It’s just me and you now,” he continued, “Just me and you against everybody else. Don’t forget it, Sid. I’m the only person left in this world that wouldn’t stab you in the back and throw you in a cell.”

Sid just nodded along as Shawn spoke. He gave up searching for his pack of smokes and reached over into Sid’s lap and grabbed his hand, rubbing his thumb over it gently. 

“So you gotta stick with me on this. There’s no going back home,” Shawn emphasized, squeezing Sid’s hand gently, “And shit, this isn’t a bad place to be, you don’t gotta thump bibles anymore. No more school. No more parents telling you what to do. Traveling all over the place, you never even left the state before this,” Shawn said, “We can do whatever we want. Doesn’t that feel good?”

Sid just nodded again, looking down at his hand being held in Shawn’s much bigger one.

“ _ Words _ , S-”

“Yes,” Sid said quickly, interrupting, “Yes it’s… Good.” He peeked out of the corner of his vision, head still down, and saw Shawn smile when he spoke.

Sid knew if he could just lock it down until they got the problem in the trunk under the dirt, they could move on. Leave it behind him. Behind  _ them _ . Maybe this would be the last one and they could really have the fantasy Shawn had promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: allmystitchesitchao3


End file.
